I think I'm just going to keep this journal at Sinch's. I don't trust Volyan not to be looking at it. He already sniffs at me funny when I come back from Sinch's even though I wash with water and everything. He doesn't try to drag me down to the Cup and Crown anymore, so I only really see him at lessons and meals. And sometimes not even lessons, if he's got a girl of some kind hanging around.
But anyway, Sinch had a really good idea today! He said if we could show that Haley's family wasn't all respectable and noble, that I wouldn't have to marry her. He said that sometimes girls were kicked out of the palace if they had any stain on their family, even if the lord already had cubs with them. So that was good, but I didn't know how we'd prove it. He thinks we can sniff around and see if any of her relatives have been in trouble.
I got a letter from Mother a couple days ago. I guess I hadn't written her in a while because nothing was going on here, but her letter made me feel guilty and homesick again, so after classes I went and stared at the river and the boats going down it. If I jumped on one of them, they'd have to take me at least to the next port. Then I wouldn't have to worry about any of this stuff. Volyan would do that in a minute if there was some responsibility he wanted to get out of. Sometimes I wish I was more like him.
I'd miss Sinch, too. But I could send him a letter and he'd come meet me. He can read and everything.
At least, I think he'd come meet me. He's pretty attached to his mom. And I'd miss her bread, too. Even at the palace there's nothing that good. Plus I think she likes me.
I gotta think about how I can ask around about Haley's relatives. She doesn't get back for another month so there's some time.